OK, so you have found your Dream Doc. Now what? You are in the honeymoon phase and you undoubtedly want him/her to like you as much as you like them. To some of us that means not telling the whole truth or even outright lying about ourselves. Depending on the size of the lie, it can cost the relationship. The biggest lie I tell my husband is the fat content of the mayonnaise and sour cream. I have been washing old full fat containers for years, and dumping in light. My husband was none the wiser for EVER until I got tired of doing it and just told him. Then he pouted, and I started doing it again. My big reason for lying is to protect his heart, and avoid conflict. I never lie to my doctor, and I’ll tell you why.
My grandmother died of lung cancer. She had COPD for years, and with yellow fingers and reeking of smoke, swore to her doctor that she quit as soon as she was diagnosed. She didn’t want to be judged by her doctor and she was ashamed that she couldn’t follow his orders. The problem is, that most doctors forget about the last patient as soon as they walk into the next exam room. He wasn’t going home and telling his friends and family about his model patient who quit smoking. Had she told him the truth, he wouldn’t have complained to everyone he saw about his awful smoking patient. He would not have told her to find a new doctor.
Lying to your doctor is a bad idea for a bunch of reasons:
1. It can impact your care. Doctors come to a diagnosis based on information you give them. They perform tests, and labs to back up your complaints. If you lie, then they could order tests you don’t need which is adding to the rising cost of healthcare for everyone. If they give you orders that you don’t follow, they order more tests, give you different medicines which perpetuates the cycle. It also wastes your time and your doctor’s time.
2. It makes them not trust you, or anyone else. They even learn in medical school that we are all liars until proven honest. This makes building relationships with your doctor difficult, because it is so one sided. It is their job to treat you; it is your body and life in their hands. This makes them less invested in the relationship than you are, and they are guaranteed not to get hurt. Can you say the same?
3. It makes you typical and forgettable. Doctors don’t judge you based your answers to their questions, and usually they find honesty refreshing. If you come clean about compliance issues or lifestyle issues, it makes you memorable and could make your doctor more invested in your care. If you are struggling with diet, or meds, or smoking or something, tell your doctor. It is their job to help you bulldoze the obstacles.
4. It gives you reason to feel bad about yourself. Kindergarten lesson, we feel bad when we lie.
5. It could keep you sick longer than you have to be sick. Who wants to be sick longer? (I actually know a couple of people who do, and that is just sad.)
We all want to put our best foot forward to people we want to impress. When we are trying to hook a partner, we tend to hide our less attractive traits. Just keep in mind that your doctor is a sure thing. I waited until I knew my husband was in love with me before I told him about some of my crazy family members. If you want your doctor to be in it for the long haul, you have to tell him/her about crazy uncle Henry on the first date.
Imagine the most embarrassing thing you could tell your doctor and remember that they see weird stuff all day. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen at the doc’s office? Once I sat next to a guy who told me he was an ex CIA agent who was getting a colonoscopy because Persian Gulf pirates put a tracking device in his food that was implanted in his intestines. Would I lie?
*Title and content property of Danielle LaBare. If you write a blog about living with chronic illness that has a lot of followers, you should be original and come up with your own content, or find another career.
Wait a minute...my Mayo is LIGHT MAYO? Still?
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